Hey, America… at what point did we decide it was acceptable to treat our nurses like shit? When did we, as a society, decide it was a good idea to verbally and physically abuse the people CARING for us?! Get ready, this is gonna be a long one. (Side note, I say nurses, but this genuinely applies to all healthcare providers)

As health care providers, how many times can we say we’ve been treated horribly? Me, personally… I can’t keep track. Hell, I can’t even keep track how many times it happens IN ONE SHIFT. ONE SHIFT… one chunk of 12 hours of my time and I can’t keep track of how many times people treat me like I am the scum of the earth. I am sure that goes for most of us in this profession.

It happens across the board, throughout the different departments. In my experience, I’ve had it happen much more frequently in the ER. We see a vast number of humans in one day, so it makes sense… more patient contact, more abuse. Yes I’m going to use the word abuse. Because, people, that is EXACTLY what it is. How would you feel if every day you went into your job and had people screaming and cussing at you all day… or, God forbid, try to physically harm you? Probably get a new job? Change career paths? Well, guess what, as health care providers we do it every day… and we keep coming back.

As a whole, nurses go into this field because we have a passion for caring for others. We want to help. We want to heal. As your nurse, I am there to do whatever it takes and whatever I can to keep you safe and improve your health. Sometimes the things I need to do are unpleasant… they hurt. I do not perform these tasks with malice. I perform these tasks because a little bit of pain is necessary sometimes in saving your life or “making you better”.

I have had patient berate me because their IV hurt. Well, it’s a needle piercing your skin… it isn’t going to feel like a kitten licking you. But I need that IV so I can draw blood and give you medicine to make you better or decrease your pain. I’ve had patients cuss me out while I am applying a splint because “you’re trying to make it hurt!”. No, your bone is broken. I am applying this splint to keep it from breaking more and therefore, causing you more pain and potentially surgery.

I have had patients and patient’s parents who will demand that “you people need to put me under before you do this, because it’s going to hurt too much”. This is absolutely fucking ridiculous. The act of “putting someone under” is a vast lay-mans term for a multi-level procedure. There are several levels of sedation that span from keeping a patient relaxed, but completely awake to completely unconscious and intubated. In each case, there is a risk of complications. To achieve sedation, the drugs we give compromise the respiratory system, depending on the amount given. This means your breathing is affected. You can literally stop breathing. We only perform sedation, at any level, when it is medically necessary for the patient; meaning the benefit outweighs the risk. So, no, I’m sorry, a mild to moderate amount of pain endured during a simple procedure is NOT a benefit that outweighs the risk of sedation.

Another problem I encounter is patients and patient family members that will compare my 4 YEAR MEDICAL DEGREE with a 30 second Google search. And then get nasty with me when I try to educate them because their bullshit internet knowledge is wrong! I’m sorry, but WHEN did you graduate medical school? Oh, you didn’t? You googled your symptoms and what they could mean? So NOW you’re going to tell me I am doing my job wrong because you GOOGLED IT?! I’m sorry, but fuck you. I went to school for a long time and studied countless hours to obtain the knowledge necessary to care for human beings… and that STILL didn’t completely prepare me for the clinical world until I was immersed in it every day and experienced health problems hands-on day in and day out. My experiences have taught me what to look for and why. My clinical judgment is what stands between my patients and poor outcomes. So DO NOT question me with “knowledge” you obtained on some bullshit website. Instead, ASK ME these questions. ASK ME why we are running certain tests and administering certain medications… or on the flip side, why we are NOT running some test or giving you a certain medication. Because there are reasons… and Google doesn’t know it all.

Patients will become irate and irrational when they do not get what they think they need or deserve. Reasoning with these people is exhausting. I’m not saying you should trust every health care provider without a shadow of a doubt… but instead of being a colossal douche, maybe ASK questions in a calm fashion. If you think the doctor is some quack and doesn’t know what he’s doing… ask the nurse questions. If you question your nurse’s ability, ask another one. But, seriously, people, STOP resorting to violence and verbal abuse just because you “feel” a certain way.

Another problem that is on the rise is the number of psych patients being held in the ER. Psych patients pose a particular problem, because not all of them are violent, but most of them are not in a proper state of mind… and this is why they are seeking help. The psych population is the most dangerous I have come across in the ER, because an ER is not equipped to manage them in the right way. Psych patients require staff that is specially trained to manage them and help get them into a better state of mind. This system of “dumping” psych patients in the ER for days on end is fucking horrible. They need psych specialty docs who can delve into the specific problems they are having and help them. The ER IS NOT equipped for that kind of treatment. So what ends up happening is these people get dumped in the ER to be medically cleared and await placement in a facility that is equipped to get them the proper treatment that they need. But that process can be long and frustrating… and these patients snap. Its a danger to staff, other patients in the department, and the psych patients themselves. More often than not, the highest risk of violence lies in this population of patients. The system needs some serious remodeling.

In summary, I should not have to walk into my job and wonder if I’m going to get assaulted. I shouldn’t have to tolerate patients verbally berating me for simply doing my job. So, for all you entitled pieces of shit who think just because I didn’t give you what you WANTED that it’s ok to fucking HIT me and cuss me, fuck you. I do my job to the best of my ability and will fight tooth and nail to advocate for what my patients NEED… but I will not tolerate being a victim to unnecessary violence. Pull your head out of your ass, America. Be good to your nurses.

Holy hell. 7pm-7am… that shit is ridiculous. Do you wanna wake up every day feeling like you’ve got the world’s worst hangover without having to bother drinking the night before? Become a night shifter. Kiss normal sleep, a normal schedule, hell, a normal life in general goodbye.

Normal people, working normal jobs will never understand why as a night shifter you are ALWAYS tired. People wonder how and why you want to sleep ALL the time. Let me break it down for you. I am accustomed to getting anywhere from 3-6 hours of sleep a day… and that’s not necessarily consecutive hours. Maybe I slept for 6 hours today.. but I was up every 2 because the rest of the world functions while I’m trying to sleep. I then get my ass out of bed and drag it into work where I will be stuck for 12 hours. In those 12 hours, my brain and body is pushed to the limit. When I drag my ass home after work, not only does my body ache… my brain does too. So if you want me to be functional… let me fucking sleep when I can.

Sleep isn’t the only difference between a day shifter vs. a night shifter. Commonly, people think you will be less busy during the night shift. Sometimes that is true! Sometimes we don’t see but 10 patients after midnight. But most nights, you keep a slammed ER well into the wee hours of the night and morning. Maybe if you get lucky and you have a bitchin’ doc, you can keep the pace a steady flow rather than an all-out down pour. There are nights we see just as many patients as the day shift does… and we do it with half the staff and resources.

Most of the ancillary staff is gone after 9 or 10 pm, so when a problem arises, you gotta get creative. We pride ourselves on being self-sufficient and pulling solutions out of thin air, when most of the day shift staff would still be running around wondering what in the hell they’re going to do. They aren’t always perfect solutions, but hey, we get the job done.

There are some good things about being on the night shift. For one, all the administrators and big wigs have left and won’t be in until after your shift has ended… so no need to walk around, worrying someone in a suit is going to come down and slap your hand for something stupid. No need to be on extra good behavior, Joint Commission doesn’t randomly show up at 2am. Just walk in, do your job, and leave. I’d say it’s peaceful but… there’s really no such thing as peaceful in an ER. And if it is, in fact, peaceful for a moment… DO NOT utter those words. It’s like a law in healthcare. If you say the word “quiet” (or any variation/synonym of the word), you will surely become extremely busy.

Honestly, night shift isn’t the worst thing in the world. What makes it hard is when the people in your life don’t understand. My friends would get pissed because I would cancel plans more often than not. If I didn’t cancel plans, I say we will make plans to do something and half the time I forget, or fall asleep. Half the time, they just quit inviting me places or trying to make plans at all.

The failing of friendships was bad enough, but it also threw a huge wrench in my relationship. D is a mechanic… has always been a mechanic… has never had to work a night shift in his life. So him grasping the concept of night shift life is a constant struggle. He has come a long way in the understanding department… but it hasn’t been easy. There have been a LOT of intense discussions about it… with lots of yelling and bad words. But, he’s finally figuring it out.

At the end of the day… or I guess that would be the beginning of the day…? For fuck’s sake, whatever… the point is, night shift is fantastic sometimes.. but that shit is hard. It takes a toll physically and mentally. So if you’ve got someone in your life that works night shift… don’t bust their balls. Let them sleep.

If you’re reading this, I guess you already know… I’m a night shift ER nurse. I decided to try this blogging thing, though I don’t know much about it except I can write out what I think about things and post it. I don’t know nor do I really care if anyone really reads this… I just wanted an outlet to vent frustrations, celebrate victories, and simply share my journey.

If you do happen to be reading this, heads up… I’m a potty mouth and I have A LOT of opinions. Some of the things I post may be dark or gruesome, while others will be humorous. This isn’t for people to judge. I am what I am and commenting shitty things won’t change that. So if you don’t like what you read, move along and read something else.

To kick off my first post, I just wanted to give some insight into me. I work at a relatively small, county hospital. I have been there for almost 3 years and have been in the ED for 2 of those years. I’m still a baby nurse, learning the ways of the healthcare world. I’ll say it now and probably 1,000 more times… despite my irritation at times, I genuinely LOVE my job.

I’m in a relationship with a mechanic and we’ve been together for 3.5 years. For the sake of keeping things semi-private, I’ll just refer to him as D. He drives me crazy most days, but he’s my person and I absolutely adore him. We have no children and are keeping it that way; though, we do have a godson who we love so very much. We have two spoiled rotten dogs and a cranky old horse- they constitute as our children.

I am originally from Indiana. I moved to Tennessee to be with D after doing 9 months of long-distance dating. It was horrible. I don’t recommend it. Even though me and D are very independent people, who are far from needy, distance fucking sucks. It still amazes me that we were able to do it for nine months that we did.

That is a very brief synopsis of my life to this point. The more I post, the more you’ll get to know me. But for now, that’s all you really need to know. If you’re reading this, thanks for taking the time.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton